If you’ve attended a child’s birthday party recently, my hunch is you’ve already figured out that birthday celebrations ‘ain’t what they used to be.’ Whether it’s a toddlers first birthday or a teenage girls sixteenth, the annual extravagance that is now heaped upon millions of children in America – from 1 to 18 – is no less than remarkable.

For a little sample of the change, let me suggest a must-see television program. Carve out 30 minutes and watch MTV’s “My Super Sweet Sixteen”. Without giving too much away, most parties on the show are exponentially more expensive than any wedding you’ve ever attended. And to top it off, the grand finale is often marked by a barely-of-legal-driving-age teen being “surprised” with a $50,000+ new vehicle. While this over-the-top birthday extravagance is certainly atypical for most youth, it does have a way of trickling down (a.k.a. peer pressure) to youth of “average” means.

On a recent “Super Sweet Sixteen” episode, a few young teens screamed into the camera “my party seems so lame compared to this one.” Whenever I mention the MTV program during a presentation, I inevitably get groans from the adults in the crowd. But their groans of disapproval don’t jive with the current reality. If I had a nickel for every time a parent told me their child attended yet another “out of control” birthday celebration, I’d have a tidy sum.

One of the most egregious birthday scenarios was relayed to me by Rick, a Chicago father who’s 10 year-old son Jack attended a birthday party of a school friend. “When the party was over, I went to pick-up Jack at his friend’s house and I couldn’t believe my eyes,” said Rick. “The parting gift for each child attending the party was a brand new bicycle,” said an exasperated Rick. Stunned, I asked him how he handled the situation. “I gave my son two options,” said a smiling Rick. “He could either return the bike to his friend or he could pick his favorite youth charity and we would drop the bike off on the way home. He chose the later.”

If your child has adequate amounts of stuff, consider taking a different path for their birthday and donating some of the gifts they receive to a local charity.